So my life with two beautiful children, how is it, well I’ll tell you.
There is no manual for parenting, it is literally on the job training and believe me when I say you fail more times than you win, but failing has never felt more worth it!
I was thrown back into life that same week as William still had a few more weeks of school left. I had started to combination feed and was trying to angle a routine that fitted in with the school run…. I laugh now because who was I kidding, no baby just fits because you want them to! Don’t get me wrong she’s a pretty content little thing; however if I had to shower or get Williams breakfast and she wanted me, she had no problem letting me know by screaming the place down. Rob did his best to pacifier her but eventually he would be out the door and it was just me!!!
Very quickly I learnt, not to always let her scream it out but do almost everything one handed! Now some may say I made a rod for my own back, but then I remembered something my mum said “William was so content as a baby because he knew he was always catered for” So I decided that Violet should get the same privilege. Now this has been in no way easy and I’ve lost my s**t a few times (well in my head) but slowly this has started to pay off and the little madam can now be left for longer before losing her mind, she knows I am always right there for her, just like William, don’t get me wrong, no parenting technique is perfect and she still has her moments but its easier!
So not to side step William during this process, I have got him involved in feeding her (assisted obv, not me sat chilling with a glass of red!!) cuddling her, and making him interact with her so she’s smiling and rewarding him for his efforts with some sweets or a trip to the local park etc. We have very much become a little team and slowly but surely Violet has fitted in with us.
My Breast Feeding Experience
I decided right from the beginning to combination feed with Violet. When William was born I was adamant that I was going to breastfeed and I did, but sadly William never got enough and looking at some of Williams early pics upsets me because he shouldn’t have looked so skinny; however on listening to my mum and not the health visitor I moved to formula and he started to thrive. So I decided to breast and formula so that Violet had the best immune system possible and to make sure she never felt hungry. Luckily my midwife and health visitor were far more supportive than they were 5 years ago. I still think that in the UK the pressure to breast feed is huge and it seems to have huge support; however we are still ‘breastfeedophobic’ when we see it in public. I think certain parts of the UK are worse than others but women still feel awkward and that it’s slightly tabo in public.
Places that openly support breastfeeding and encourage it are so few and far between which is pretty shocking. My experience of breastfeeding in public was awkward, I had older men feel uncomfortable, as they weren’t sure where to look, older women looking horrified and teenages whispering amongst themselves, like I was walking down the street naked!! Maybe the older generation I understand a little better with a once upon a time stigma that women upheld their dignity and stayed covered, but the younger generation, the ones to have children next, why do they feel aliened by it? Shouldn’t this wonderful and amazing gift that a women has been referenced in sex ed classes, after all, women’s breast aren’t just a play toy’s for boys!!
Well anyway that’s my view and experiences on the subject.
Continuing my life with two……
I firmly believe that hitting the ground running was the way forward for me, fuelled by my determination not to feel like I did after William was born and armed with William as my team mate we’ve made the summer holidays exciting, with some beautiful memories. I haven’t felt anxious to leave the house, I’ve just had the confidence to get out there. It’s a shame that Rob has to work so much, but I couldn’t be more grateful as he is the reason I get to spend so much time with my babies.
Not everyday is easy and I get days were I feel overwhelmed, tired and emotional but it only takes a second to look at my children and remind myself that they need me and I want them to know that they can always rely on me.
So really my true survival kit for becoming a parent of two is their beautiful smiles. Oh and wine, lots of wine!!!!!!
“If evolution really works, how come Mothers only have two hands” – Milton Berle